It's turkey time and most importantly, a time for gratitude.
Although it's obvious that I'm thankful for many things, there are a few which merit mention. I'm grateful for my sister, Julie. She has undoubtedly been my best friend for a long time and the best responder, whether an ear to listen to my woes, a voice to give me reason or a physical being to help with the situation. I'm grateful for my whole lot of family and friends. It's easy to say thank you to them every day, but know how much you're appreciated. I'm thankful for my children....and above all, my husband, Dave. Despite the fact that he can drive me to tears with his off the cuff, humorous (sometimes sarcastic)comments, I know it's only because he loves me that much. He certainly has a lot to put up with- living with me!
I'm grateful for all the wonderful medical care I have and insurance. I'm lucky to work in such an empathetic environment, as well.
I am grateful, but also continue to pray, want and need for my Bridget. She is having set backs again and we are seeing our 2nd opinion neurologist (Dr. Smith) from Rush this week. Hopefully, we will get new and different medication that will help with her seizures. Just when we think it's calm....
As for my treatment, radiation is well underway. I've had 8 sessions and look forward to 17 more! I complete my daily dose of radiation on Dec. 24, which is terrific timing. I am, as Dave says, ready to throw 2008 in the trash. I really don't think there's a better way to look at it. However, with any hardship- I've learned many valuable lessons, ones not worth trading. I have faith that God meant for me to learn and I have fulfilled this opportunity. So thank you, too, Lord.
Love to all, Sara
Four years ago...
Bridget Rose came into our lives. And with the birth of any child, nothing is ever the same. She certainly melted our hearts and continues to do so. Although, there is no forecast or road map with the addition of a child, there is unconditional love. I know I wouldn't trade any day in my life without her. So, looking at life through our 'Rose' colored glasses, I have the right to be sappy today, especially with the roads we've traveled thus far with our daughter.
All sentiment aside, I highly recommend the new talking Elmo. It is hysterical- even entertaining for a 6 year old. Our celebration commenced with a pancake in the shape of #4 and concluded with a trip to McDonald's complete with cookies and the play land. It's the simple things in life.
The update for my treatment is this...I had my last "expansion" yesterday (until radiation is over)where my Plastic Surgeon decided to double the fill "claiming his space" as he put it. He is truly conservative, but is looking out for the condition of my skin, which could be effected by these rays. So, I begin 27 sessions of radiation on Monday Nov. 17. Big side effects are the conditions of my skin and fatigue. These just go swimmingly with the fact that I returned to work and the holiday season is approaching. Looks like I still have an excuse not to cook until 2009.
My game is still good, with steady advances down the field. I know how to score,but just keep playing it safe. My coach gave a pep talk the other night when I was feeling a little about my appearance and abilities. His comment, "Don't worry honey. You're like a FEMA trailer. It's just temporary housing until we rebuild." I really do love my husband.
All sentiment aside, I highly recommend the new talking Elmo. It is hysterical- even entertaining for a 6 year old. Our celebration commenced with a pancake in the shape of #4 and concluded with a trip to McDonald's complete with cookies and the play land. It's the simple things in life.
The update for my treatment is this...I had my last "expansion" yesterday (until radiation is over)where my Plastic Surgeon decided to double the fill "claiming his space" as he put it. He is truly conservative, but is looking out for the condition of my skin, which could be effected by these rays. So, I begin 27 sessions of radiation on Monday Nov. 17. Big side effects are the conditions of my skin and fatigue. These just go swimmingly with the fact that I returned to work and the holiday season is approaching. Looks like I still have an excuse not to cook until 2009.
My game is still good, with steady advances down the field. I know how to score,but just keep playing it safe. My coach gave a pep talk the other night when I was feeling a little about my appearance and abilities. His comment, "Don't worry honey. You're like a FEMA trailer. It's just temporary housing until we rebuild." I really do love my husband.
October Goes
Hard to believe it's almost the end of October. I have literally been stuck in a time warp, especially being at home. It's only been a week since feeling somewhat normal. We even went out this weekend to a party. I honestly can't remember the last time I did that! I'm sleeping on my side (ever so carefully) and have kicked the surgical harness(aka- my sports bra) on occasion. Like I said, as close to normal in a long, long time.
Even though the past week brought on a feeling of normalcy, it certainly didn't begin that way. My plastic surgeon decided to perform a procedure (surgical, actually) on my lethargic, naughty left incision. Last Tuesday, Dr. Kouris cleaned the wound and gave me 18 external stitches, which I did not have before. Amazingly, the wound began healing immediately, yet I get the stitches out in a week along with a "fill." As Sheila the nurse said, "a twofer" on that visit (Oct.27). After this 3rd fill, I hope to have one more before beginning radiation. Because once that begins, I am on hiatus for reconstruction. Not to mention, the skin may turn on me becoming less flexible. Time will tell and I still do not have the exact date on the beginning of radiation. IF, and that's a big one, I begin mid November I could be finished by Christmas. That would be the best gift I could get. Well, one at least....
Bridget continues to have her roller coaster ride with medication. As we are introducing her third medicine, she's on a temporary daily dose of Valium (VERY small). First off, we can't administer the 3rd medication too quickly because of the side effects. Second, she's had some atonic episodes at school- falls where they happen out of the blue. They have documented at least 4 bonks on the head. That's why we needed a temporary medicine to mellow her out and keep her focused. It has helped, yet I don't think they'll keep her on this long. She's been really good at home- very absorbed in toys and books, eating well and asking/signing for help more often. Dave and I are very happy for her. Yet, as her birthday looms I can't help to think of where she actually is (that and we got very detailed report from the developmental pediatrician). Someone appropriately nicknamed that position Dr. Doom and Gloom. She pinpoints the level of development of Bridget and it isn't very positive....very delayed. Nothing new to us. The reality is with us everyday. We're doing what we can to solve this seizure disorder. This would be the very best gift.
Hope you enjoy the pictures of our trip to the pumpkin patch. The kids had a great time and it was beautiful. Like I said, normal. It feels good.
Even though the past week brought on a feeling of normalcy, it certainly didn't begin that way. My plastic surgeon decided to perform a procedure (surgical, actually) on my lethargic, naughty left incision. Last Tuesday, Dr. Kouris cleaned the wound and gave me 18 external stitches, which I did not have before. Amazingly, the wound began healing immediately, yet I get the stitches out in a week along with a "fill." As Sheila the nurse said, "a twofer" on that visit (Oct.27). After this 3rd fill, I hope to have one more before beginning radiation. Because once that begins, I am on hiatus for reconstruction. Not to mention, the skin may turn on me becoming less flexible. Time will tell and I still do not have the exact date on the beginning of radiation. IF, and that's a big one, I begin mid November I could be finished by Christmas. That would be the best gift I could get. Well, one at least....
Bridget continues to have her roller coaster ride with medication. As we are introducing her third medicine, she's on a temporary daily dose of Valium (VERY small). First off, we can't administer the 3rd medication too quickly because of the side effects. Second, she's had some atonic episodes at school- falls where they happen out of the blue. They have documented at least 4 bonks on the head. That's why we needed a temporary medicine to mellow her out and keep her focused. It has helped, yet I don't think they'll keep her on this long. She's been really good at home- very absorbed in toys and books, eating well and asking/signing for help more often. Dave and I are very happy for her. Yet, as her birthday looms I can't help to think of where she actually is (that and we got very detailed report from the developmental pediatrician). Someone appropriately nicknamed that position Dr. Doom and Gloom. She pinpoints the level of development of Bridget and it isn't very positive....very delayed. Nothing new to us. The reality is with us everyday. We're doing what we can to solve this seizure disorder. This would be the very best gift.
Hope you enjoy the pictures of our trip to the pumpkin patch. The kids had a great time and it was beautiful. Like I said, normal. It feels good.
On the Mend
Tomorrow is three weeks since surgery. There's a lot to be grateful for....as Dave mentioned- no cancer was found in the pathology report from surgery. Yippee! Yet, like all good news, we must be conservative in our response. I am happy and it's a relief, but after talking to my surgeon, oncologist and now newest doctor, radiation oncologist, I must forge ahead with radiation. As the RO (radiation oncologist) explained, I am a difficult case because of the great pathology report. Yet, when looking at the statistics of my "disease" I qualify for radiation. Four areas he mentioned are: the tumor and outlying areas with disease were 5 cm or greater, there were four positive lymph nodes (they're guessing on this since I didn't have them removed before chemo), the cancer was grade 3 in nature and last, I was Her-2 positive: cancer growth is aggressive when in my body. So those are the stats and I qualify. Not the best news I got on Friday, but it could be worse. I will start my 5 1/2 week stint of radiation in mid October. Reconstruction goes on hold while I do so, and the time line of the whole process is prolonged.
Currently, recovery is slow. I guess I anticipated it to be somewhat like having a baby. A couple weeks of slow moving, but otherwise quick to heal. The 6 week hiatus from work in those days was (now that I look back) very much centered around caring for an infant. Well, guess I personally qualify for that role now. I am still slow and sore and 1 of 2 incisions are lethargic in healing. Mobility of my arms is improving, but no rehab yet until I completely heal. I go for weekly check ups with the PS. I enjoy sleeping late, but not on my back each night. I am growing eyebrows, eyelashes and even some hair on my head. The color is yet to be determined, which I'm sure I'll color as soon as possible! Dave is truly amazing in his roles as Dad and Mom. The kids are doing well, our nanny is spectacular and I've had lots of helping hands. I have no pride left in asking for it, that's for sure. When one is in this situation, you just get over it!
I'm ready for the new season of football and like that old Packer guy, I plan on being resilient.
As always, thank you for reading, thinking of, praying for and just being here for me. A special thank you for those of you who participated in the Susan G. Komen 5K in Chicago on Saturday in honor of me. I am humbled and touched by your generosity.
Currently, recovery is slow. I guess I anticipated it to be somewhat like having a baby. A couple weeks of slow moving, but otherwise quick to heal. The 6 week hiatus from work in those days was (now that I look back) very much centered around caring for an infant. Well, guess I personally qualify for that role now. I am still slow and sore and 1 of 2 incisions are lethargic in healing. Mobility of my arms is improving, but no rehab yet until I completely heal. I go for weekly check ups with the PS. I enjoy sleeping late, but not on my back each night. I am growing eyebrows, eyelashes and even some hair on my head. The color is yet to be determined, which I'm sure I'll color as soon as possible! Dave is truly amazing in his roles as Dad and Mom. The kids are doing well, our nanny is spectacular and I've had lots of helping hands. I have no pride left in asking for it, that's for sure. When one is in this situation, you just get over it!
I'm ready for the new season of football and like that old Packer guy, I plan on being resilient.
As always, thank you for reading, thinking of, praying for and just being here for me. A special thank you for those of you who participated in the Susan G. Komen 5K in Chicago on Saturday in honor of me. I am humbled and touched by your generosity.
Injury Report 09/09/08
So the start player has been injured during the game on Sept.9Th. The medical staff has thoroughly checked out her injuries and she will be put on the Injury Reserve list for the next six weeks. After a blood transfusion (3 units) countless presses of the morphine administration device. Sara has found her way to the recliner chair and the bathroom and later today she will venture beyond the door and walk down the hall. Her crack staff of 15 or so med student visit every morning like a parade kindergartners down the hallway for recess. The Main doctors (Surgeon and Plastic Surgeon) have said everything during the surgery went great and thought Sara would respond well reconstruction process.
We were told it would take about a week for the pathology report to come back with the results of the tissue samples they took from the cancer areas during the surgery. That week turned into two days and the results are.... 0% of cancer in all the tissue tested. This meaning Sara is clinically free from all cancer. We on the team almost received a penalty for excessive celebration! Now we will wait for the official review from the doctors to see if radiation will be necessary.
We are looking to go home either Friday or Saturday and we will continue the rehab from our home.
update by David, manager, water boy ,towl boy, statistician.........
We were told it would take about a week for the pathology report to come back with the results of the tissue samples they took from the cancer areas during the surgery. That week turned into two days and the results are.... 0% of cancer in all the tissue tested. This meaning Sara is clinically free from all cancer. We on the team almost received a penalty for excessive celebration! Now we will wait for the official review from the doctors to see if radiation will be necessary.
We are looking to go home either Friday or Saturday and we will continue the rehab from our home.
update by David, manager, water boy ,towl boy, statistician.........
Game On!
Tuesday, September 8, 2008...Surgery day.
The game of all games is about to begin.
We'll (well, Dave) will send out an email to some saying I'm out and
somewhat conscious. The duration is 6 hours beginning sometime around 8 AM.
Bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction- if you haven't read yet.
I'll be at Rush Mecidal Center in Chicago. Anxious to get home, I'm sure.
Thanks for keeping score with us.
The game of all games is about to begin.
We'll (well, Dave) will send out an email to some saying I'm out and
somewhat conscious. The duration is 6 hours beginning sometime around 8 AM.
Bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction- if you haven't read yet.
I'll be at Rush Mecidal Center in Chicago. Anxious to get home, I'm sure.
Thanks for keeping score with us.
Play Offs
The regular season game has ended and not without excitement.
It's kind of like the reinstatement of Brett Favre. It keeps evolving.
This all started with Deanna's book so I feel it only appropriate I mention their names. Dave is not happy.
Chemo finished as of August 15, which in itself is an accomplishment. However, nothing is accomplished easily in this house. After the excitement of Harrison's birthday, having the last chemo, and the hellish experience of Bridget's 48 hour EEG the week before, I got run down. I was put on antibiotics after having a fever and just feeling like crap. Of course during this week, we thought we had hired a nanny that was going to start immediately. Surprisingly she did not and we were left Friday (the 22nd) with 2 more interviews and the need for someone to start ASAP. Luckily, it was a difficult decision, but we hired a young woman (32), Marita, who has great experience and is willing to work with us and ALL of our idiosyncrasies. Thank God. We know know there are many.
In retrospect, the game was won by a narrow margin. My tumor is practically non-existent. I don't have cancer anywhere else, with the slight exception of in a few lymph nodes (will be known after surgery). And, with the infusion of herceptin every 3 weeks until next May, there is a much lower risk that cancer will ever come back. That is exactly how I look at it- this year is it and I'm finished with cancer.
My surgery is scheduled for September 9. The play offs begin. I am starting the school year- tomorrow, but will take a 6 week leave after surgery to recover. Surgery involves a bi-lateral mastectomy with immediate reconstruction. The reconstruction will take place over 2-4 months with a follow up surgery for my permanent implants.
If you've followed the blog, you know that it, too, evolved into updates of Bridget. She had the 48 hour EEG and our neurologist discovered that she not only has abnormal activity on one side of the brain, but both. She now has the diagnosis of Generalized Seizure Disorder. With that comes new medication, just in time. She proceeded to have a seizure Friday afternoon ending with Dave and I administering the emergency medication. Thank goodness we had her neurologist on the phone before then during this horrible experience. She is fine now and is receiving new medication. Always remember our little angel in your prayers.
We're hanging tough, although a little beat up from the first game. As you know, after watching the Olympics especially, a good athlete never gives up. I'm the furthest thing there is from an athlete right now (very soft, indeed), but I'm not giving up. There's more game time left and I'm doing it.
It's kind of like the reinstatement of Brett Favre. It keeps evolving.
This all started with Deanna's book so I feel it only appropriate I mention their names. Dave is not happy.
Chemo finished as of August 15, which in itself is an accomplishment. However, nothing is accomplished easily in this house. After the excitement of Harrison's birthday, having the last chemo, and the hellish experience of Bridget's 48 hour EEG the week before, I got run down. I was put on antibiotics after having a fever and just feeling like crap. Of course during this week, we thought we had hired a nanny that was going to start immediately. Surprisingly she did not and we were left Friday (the 22nd) with 2 more interviews and the need for someone to start ASAP. Luckily, it was a difficult decision, but we hired a young woman (32), Marita, who has great experience and is willing to work with us and ALL of our idiosyncrasies. Thank God. We know know there are many.
In retrospect, the game was won by a narrow margin. My tumor is practically non-existent. I don't have cancer anywhere else, with the slight exception of in a few lymph nodes (will be known after surgery). And, with the infusion of herceptin every 3 weeks until next May, there is a much lower risk that cancer will ever come back. That is exactly how I look at it- this year is it and I'm finished with cancer.
My surgery is scheduled for September 9. The play offs begin. I am starting the school year- tomorrow, but will take a 6 week leave after surgery to recover. Surgery involves a bi-lateral mastectomy with immediate reconstruction. The reconstruction will take place over 2-4 months with a follow up surgery for my permanent implants.
If you've followed the blog, you know that it, too, evolved into updates of Bridget. She had the 48 hour EEG and our neurologist discovered that she not only has abnormal activity on one side of the brain, but both. She now has the diagnosis of Generalized Seizure Disorder. With that comes new medication, just in time. She proceeded to have a seizure Friday afternoon ending with Dave and I administering the emergency medication. Thank goodness we had her neurologist on the phone before then during this horrible experience. She is fine now and is receiving new medication. Always remember our little angel in your prayers.
We're hanging tough, although a little beat up from the first game. As you know, after watching the Olympics especially, a good athlete never gives up. I'm the furthest thing there is from an athlete right now (very soft, indeed), but I'm not giving up. There's more game time left and I'm doing it.
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